65 Cool Funny Christmas Sayings 🎄

Below is a list of 65 Cool Funny Christmas Sayings | Short funny Christmas Sayings to keep you Laughing until the new year.

 

Only an accountant understands the real meaning of Christmas.

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth.

Merry Christmas, almost Everybody!

How is the Italian version of Christmas different? One Jesus, one Mary, and 33 wise guys.

I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.

Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

Being a Secret Santa is actually the only office secret that you’ve ever kept.

Christmas is a time while you get homesick – even when you’re home.

It’s the holiday season. Let the overeating begin!

He who has now not Christmas in his heart will on no account find it beneath a tree.

I’ve seen you Facebook status updates, you’ll get a dictionary for Christmas.

Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log.

Christmas never would have caught on if it had been called Celebrate a Little Jew’s Birthday.

That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.

Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.

Yeah, we too are thinking if Santa will elect to problem combating this.

Merry Christmas, nearly everybody!

For Christmas this year I will be making a donation in your name into my bank account.

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.

I stopped believing in Santa Claus at the age of 5 when my mom tried to make me believe that he lives in a toy shop!

I asked Santa for a sexiest person on earth and next morning I woke up in a box.

My husband’s idea of getting the Christmas spirit is to become Scrooge.

Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of this day – the birth of Santa?

Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.

Christmas is the biggest E-greeting Day in the year.

Do you know why so many people love Jesus? Without Jesus, no Christmas.

Let’s hope all your regifting will go undetected this year

If you can’t wrap Christmas presents well, at least make it look like they put up a good fight.

During Christmas you buy gifts with the next year’s money.

I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.

Let’s hope Santa won’t get killed using Apple Maps this Christmas.

Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help.

Dear Santa, for Christmas please send me your list of bad boys and their phone numbers.

Christmas is a state of mind and that special feeling that only comes with an empty bank account.

Your office Christmas party is a perfect platform to gather blackmail material.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

I’d go to office Christmas party if my coworkers weren’t invited.

I don’t mind fruitcakes. They’re the one thing during the holidays I’m not tempted to eat.

When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas.

Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even when you’re home.

Christmas is like a regular day at the office. You have to do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the deserts.

A Christmas miracle is when your family doesn’t get into a single argument all day.

I left Santa gluten-free cookies and organic soy milk and he put a solar panel in my stocking.

Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.

Dear Santa, for Christmas I want a fat bank account and a thin body. Please don‘t confuse it as you did last year.

Dear Santa, I was good all year, well most of the year… right, sometimes… at least few times… OK, I’ll buy it myself.

You really surprised me during this Christmas – I didn’t expect you’ll gift such a sh*t after me giving you hints all year long.

Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has to see a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.

I wanted to send you something AMAZING for Christmas but the mailman told me to get out of the mailbox.

The only thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white man would come into our neighborhood after the dark.

You know you’ve grown up when none of the things you want for Christmas can be bought at a store.

If you get underwear for Christmas, that means you stopped believing in Santa.

What I don’t like most about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.

Co-workers are like Christmas lights. They all hang together but half of them don‘t work and the other half aren’t so bright.

Have you noticed that in December it is impossible to avoid Christmas songs when going for shopping.

If you finish your Christmas shopping early, you should consider what’s wrong with you having so few friends.

In our office we do a Secret Santa so secretive that we don’t actually do it.

If you took a shot every time you here a Christmas song, you would never feel sober in December.

I’ve never really understood why Jews go out for Chinese food on Christmas Eve, but I think it’s because so many Chinese restaurants have the word “temple” in their names.

The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven’t seen for twenty minutes.

The amount of time and energy we spend putting up and taking down holiday decorations tells me our ‘top of the food chain’ claim is invalid.

The first-rate of all items around any Christmas tree: the presence of a blissful family all wrapped up in every different.

 

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