23 Funny Christmas Quotes – Funny Christmas Sayings for Cards

95 shares, 73 points
23 Funny Christmas Quotes - Funny Christmas Sayings for Cards

23 Funny Christmas Quotes – Funny Christmas Sayings for Cards 🎄

Admit it: While Christmas should be a time for family and earnest reflection, some of the most memorable traditions are a breeding ground for comedy. Think: awkward office video holiday parties, frantic last minute Christmas gift shopping for a long list of people to buy for. The point is, we can all use a few laughs when you’re taking on the stress of finding that last perfect present, trying to wrap a million things without getting carpal tunnel syndrome, or ever working up the courage to check your credit card balance. Without the laughs, we’d all be a bit of a Scrooge. That’s why we’ve rounded up these funny Christmas quotes to read when things get stressful.

Take some time between baking the world’s most delicious Christmas cookies and looking for the best Elf on the Shelf ideas to peruse these funny Christmas sayings. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a break from all the holiday chaos and allow yourself a few minutes to laugh hard. While there’s a time and a place for the more heartfelt Christmas quotes, religious Christmas quotes, and Christmas Bible verses, we’re giving you permission to sit down with a hot chocolate and embrace the more cringeworthy moments of the season with these funny Christmas quotes. Who knows maybe one will be the perfect Christmas Instagram caption for that throwback pic of your screaming child on Santa’s lap. (Check out these humorous funny Christmas memes, funny Christmas poems, Christmas puns, and Santa jokes too!)

Advertisement – Continue Reading Below


Kin Hubbard

“Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.”


Andy Borowitz

“Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.”


Will Ferrell, “Elf”

“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.”


Kin Hubbard

“Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.”


Shirley Temple

“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.”


Jerry Seinfeld

“That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.”


Johnny Carson

“The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.”


Larry Wilde

“Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.”


Bob Phillips

“There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.”


Victor Borge

“Santa Claus had the right idea. Visit people only once a year.”


Bernard Manning

“I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.”


Author Unknown

“Christmas is a race to see which gives out first—your money or your feet.”


J.K. Rowling

“One can never have enough socks. Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn’t get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books.”


Maya Angelou

“You can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.”


Melanie White

“Sending Christmas cards is a good way to let your friends and family know that you think they’re worth the price of a stamp.”


Winston Spear

“I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.”


Bridger Winegar

“I hate the radio this time of year because they play ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ like, every other song. And that’s just not enough.”


Matt Groening

“Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas. You know, the birth of Santa?”


Conan O’Brien

“There are 17 more shopping days until Christmas. So, guys, that means 16 more days till we start shopping, right?”


Melanie White

“A Christmas miracle is when your family doesn’t get into a single argument all day.”


Johnny Carson

“Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.”


Julius Sharpe

“The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven’t seen for 20 minutes.”


Andy Borowitz

“Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help.”

This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io

Advertisement – Continue Reading Below

Sharing is caring 👋 don’t forget to share this post on Pinterest !

Like it? Share with your friends!

95 shares, 73 points


Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *